Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
