i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
