As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
4 words: hood of his car
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
