At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
