Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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