see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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