Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
