Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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