if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
