I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
