it's too hot outside to masturbate.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
