lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
