So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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