HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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