I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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