this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
