New invention idea: vibrating tampons
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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