i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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