whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
