Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
