Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
