hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
