All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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