craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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