Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Success! We fucked roommates!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
