Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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