Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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