I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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