then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
