I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The power of my boobs compel you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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