I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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