I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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