Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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