her vagine was all disorganized.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
