How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
