i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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