I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
