Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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