soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
