Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
