I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
