Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
