We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
