tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
