Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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