Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
