I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
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