Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
