This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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