guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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