He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
