I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
